Anxious

Kate and Adam are here! They're here! A big yummy welcome to Tertia's new arrivals. I am beyond happy for her. Reading Tertia's blog over the last few months has been inspiring for lots of reasons. One is that Tertia was always so honest about her fears as well as her joys during her pregnancy. So, with that model in mind, I am going to confess to you that I am a pretty anxious pregnant woman. I am very happy, of course, a kind of saturated happiness that is still mixed with sweet disbelief that this is actually happening.

But I am also nervous. Too much so, my husband says. In fact, my worries about the sprite prompted huge fireworks the other night, a fight that really ranked right up there for us. And the funny thing is, he doesn't even know the half of it. I don't even talk to him about many of the things I worry about, and still he thinks I'm going overboard.

The whole thing was prompted by a very smelly accident. In his spare time, my husband makes these little fake flies for fishing. They look a lot like real flies and other bugs that fish like to eat, even though they're made out of the strangest things (like pieces of deer hair and glitter). He likes to make them while watching TV. What I've never realized is that he has to use a little glue and paint thinner to put these things together.

So yesterday morning, I opened the door to the TV room - where my husband was comfortably watching the news - and was blown back by a hugely obnoxious and obviously toxic smell. Turns out that the little jar of paint thinner had spilled and leaked all over the drawer where he keeps this stuff. He hadn't even smelled it, which I think is amazing. Now, I've never received any formal medical training, but I'm pretty sure that pregnant women aren't supposed to breathe in the fumes from paint thinner. So I made myself scarce while he cleaned it up.

A few minutes later, I went to the kitchen as I was getting ready to leave for work, and the kitchen reeks of the thinner. He had taken the drawer into the kitchen to clean it, but it still smelled like holy hell. Since he hadn't even smelled the stuff before, I was worried that he might not even realize that the kitchen still needed to be sterilized, so to speak. I quickly went back to ask him to make sure it was all cleaned up, and then had to go back through the kitchen to leave the house. By this point, I was highly agitated, because 1. he had been using paint thinner in the house at all 2. he hadn't even noticed a smell that was clearly BAD 3. his efforts to clean it up had only expanded the number of rooms filled with the fumes, including the room that I had to navigate in order to leave the house to get away from the smell! and 4. I was scared.

I would say that, all told, I probably breathed the paint thinner fumes for maybe 30 seconds, a minute tops. Not much, really, but enough so that my entire day was spent worrying about the implications of this exposure. I just finished my 7th week, a crucial time for the developing fetus right? A time when one should probably not be smelling paint thinner, even for a little while. I can't help but worry I may have hurt the sprite. I've tried to read about exposure to solvents online, but it looks like the only studies address occupational exposure, not this kind of incidental, accidental event.

So, I told my husband last night that I was still worried about it, and he flew off the handle, accusing me of being overly anxious and obsessed. To which I could only reply, it was paint thinner! How the hell could I not be worried, for chrissakes? Does he really expect me to blithely skip along, sure in the knowledge that everything is just hunky dory? Hey, maybe I'll go breathe in some pesticide today just to make things more interesting! And that's where the fight started, and it eventually ended, but it was long and complicated, and maybe I'll tell you more about it later.

I don't think I'm being hysterical or overly concerned, but what do you think? From a psychological point of view, when does normal concern become abnormal anxiety? From a medical point of view, what are the dangers of this kind of incidental exposure? Come to my rescue, internet, I need some help here.

Comments

[eM]

Those fly thing sound disgusting, bit of deer, tar and solvent - poor fish. But remember in about 18 months time the little sprite will be deep in it himself and at 4 the two of them will be sharing the hobby. For control freaks that's the hardest - letting the dad be a dad (and they do such stupid stupid stupid things with kids).

He probably feels shite for not being more sensible so of course he will downplay it to save his pride.

Its a tense time for both of you and there's likely to be some regular squabbling.

[dish]

My hubby does silly things like tie flies too- luckily he'll limit them to the basement, but since we have no door to separate that area, I sometimes get a whiff of the stuff. I'm not a doc, but sensing the smell, leaving the area, and not sitting there trying to freebase on the aroma is probably just fine. It's impossible to avoid every solvent that comes by, but I completely understand your worry. It'll be really fun this spring when everyone starts chem-treating their lawns. I gag on that without extra hormones to boot.

You may also want to invest in a nice pointy pair of shoes for serious ass-kicking if hubby gets all snitty again :-)

[Joanne]

I think the line between normal concern and abnormal anxiety is relative, depending on what you've been through. What might be abnormal anxiety for a fertile who has never had any trouble getting/staying pregnant is completely normal for an infertile who has faced a lot of heartbreaks and setbacks. The only way you wouldn't be at heightened alert right now is if you were a Stepford.

[eM]

ahem ! is there any oxygen left over at your place cos we haven't heard from you for a while.

[lisa]

Chemicals like that don't belong inside, period. I say he can go outside on the porch or in the garage.

That said, I don't think 30s of exposure will do harm to you or the baby. But feel free to blame your husband every time your child doesn't get 100 on a test, or does something stupid :)

(Disclosure: my husband refuses to let me paint the nursery with latex paint, fans, and a mask, but has yet to rescue me from cleaning the bathroom with Tilex. Go figure.)

[Vanessa]

Thanks for your post regarding the paint thinner. I am an interior designer and am 6 weeks pregnant. I haven't yet told my clients I was pregnant. I went to one of thier houses yesterday and she called me in to see her bathroom vanity THAT SHE WAS STRIPPING WITH PAINT THINNER. I told her it looked great and tried to get as far a way from it as possible. I found your blog and it made me feel better. Thanks.