Still Pregnant

I have been told that if I disappear and give no pregnancy updates, I am an asshole. (You know who you are!)  Point taken, friends.

So here I am, to tell you of my week. It has been glorious, in all truth. Last Friday's numbers were oh so good: 24,401 hCG and 96 prog. Beauteous. I've felt crappy every since my family arrived, which of course has been a source of constant comfort. Every time a hug made my breasts sing in pain, every time I could hardly choke down food 'cause of a severely sour stomach, was a much loved feather in my pregnancy cap.

My parents were delirious. Whenever my father entered or left the house, he would lean down and say hello or goodbye to my stomach. Very cute. My mother was constantly telling me to take it easy and rest. Which, I have to say, was hardly a matter of choice. Good grief, the fatigue! I knew it was normal to be tired, but I hadn't expected to fall into a deep coma every afternoon around 4:00, and to spend the rest of the day in a semi-alert state of half-sleep. It's a good thing everybody was excited about the sprite. It gave them plenty to talk about, while I sat and stared stupidly at the wall. I've been so tired I've had basically nothing to contribute, except to tiredly smile and nod when somebody made a joke or told a good story. I'm a thrill a minute.

Of course, it wouldn't be an infertility pregnancy without anxiety and cautious expectation Today I am feeling very very nervous. I woke up feeling way too good. My nausea hasn't been all that bad, really, but today it was basically gone. My boobs are only a little sore, and I'm not tired. And lunch went down way too easy. After days of forcing myself to eat because food just tastes wrong, I scarfed down my meal and licked my chops. Bad, very bad. Why don't I feel worse? And to top it all off, a little while ago I had a few small cramps, which I haven't had in over a week.

Very nervous. I dread a miscarriage, and I fear the missed abortion most of all. The thought of my sprite lying listless, already dead and me not even knowing ... shudder. I know I shouldn't think these things. I know I should be positive about this pregnancy and thankful that I've come this far. But today, I'm not really feeling that way.

We have an appointment for our first sono on Monday, where we should hopefully hear the heartbeat and find out how many embryos are hatching in there. Hearing a heartbeat will make me feel much better, I think. That will be a great great day.

Comments

[bermuda]

Fantabulous numbers! Thanks for the update.

And as for the symptoms, unfortunately, they can ebb and flow, wax and wane, however you want to put it.

I woke up one morning and sobbed like a baby because when I poked my boob, it didn't make me wince. And after week 6, I stopped having to pee every hour, it went to 3 hours. Only in infertile's pregnancy does not peeing every hour send you reeling with DBT's.

Sending you good wishes for a wonderful u/s.
Hang in there,
Janet

Oh, and it would also be wonderful to see you post just a bit more. You save alot of worrying of a bunch of us. :p

[eM]

Yeah, asshole, about time you wrote. Your dad makes me cry - i just love your dad.

[Sanorah]

*hugs*

[B. Mare]

Just popping to say yay that all continues to go well, and to wish you a very happy 2005! Happy New Year lobster friend!

[Karen]

I've been away from checking my friends' blogs, and I see you've had some wonderful news--Congratulations, my friend! I am so, so happy for you!

[Joanne]

Great numbers -- I'm so glad your holidays went well. Good luck tomorrow!

[callistawolf]

Good luck and do keep blogland posted. :) Pregnancy after infertility is no walk in the park. *hugs*

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