How to drive an infertile woman crazy, in three easy steps:
1. Inject her with enormous amounts of hcG, so that her smallish boobs, which have never ever ever been sore before, are tender and sore just like the boobs of a pregnant woman. Even 14 days after the trigger shot.
2. Have her stick two progesterone bullets a day up her cooter, making her constipated and incredibly sleepy. Again, just like a pregnant woman.
3. Give her a stuffy nose and a vague sense of not feeling well, which could be caused by the cold virus that everyone else she knows has come down with, or, by the fact that she's pregnant.
And that, my muffins, is a recipe for mental disturbances of all kinds, including obsession, depression, and hysteria. These fake symptoms of mine are fucking with my head but good. I really should go into therapy, because I think it would be quite entertaining for the therapist to see me squirm and fret about my quote-unquote symptoms. Yup, quite a show, that.
Lobster Girl, I'm still holding out for the pee test and keep obsessively checking your blog waiting for it. I wouldn't discount those symptoms as fake just yet. I'm really holding on and crossing everything for you.
xxxooo,
Posted by: Emily | December 09, 2004 at 12:11 PM
Emily, Thanks for checking in but I won't be peeing on any sticks. I try to hold out for the beta. Especially now, when the leftover trigger hcG could cause a false positive. I don't think my psyche could take a false positive! So I'll be letting everyone know tomorrow what the beta says. Thanks for thinking of me!
Posted by: lobster girl | December 09, 2004 at 01:28 PM
LG,
I certainly appreciate your self control concerning peeing on a stick. There's a lot to be said for self-preservation.
Posted by: Cricket | December 09, 2004 at 06:34 PM