Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em

I know you're all on pins and needles waiting for my OPK update. Well you are, aren't you? What is more riveting, really, than my soap opera relationship with Clear Blue OPK sticks? When I see that dark line, it is true love, and my heart swells and violins play as I sing the gift of the Stick.

But when things aren't going well, and the Stick is playing hard to get, I am quick to anger and expletives rain from my mouth like ... well, like pee showering on a stick. Once, I even accused Stick of kidnapping my husband, locking him in a secret room in the back of Stick's suburban home, taking him to South America, and brainwashing him into falling in love with her. Then I remembered that that happened on TV, and I had to apologize.

So the torrid affair continued this morning, when I woke up early to pee on Stick so that I could call the clinic before they closed at 8:00. The control line was so much darker than the test line, that I refused to believe it. 30 minutes later, I went back for more because I can't help myself. Why oh why do I always fall for the wrong kind of Stick? The second time, the control line was lighter (because, hey, how much pee can a girl generate in 30 minutes?) but the test line was almost as dark. But since the control line was light, that's not saying much.

So then what did I do? I called the RE's office and I lied. I told them that the test line was very close to the shade of the control line, and I wanted to schedule my IUI for Monday morning. Why did I lie, do you ask? Good question. My thinking was: since the lines were so similar yesterday, and I had all that eggwhite slipping around, maybe yesterday really was the surge? Maybe the IUI really should have been today? So, the way I figure it, if I did ovulate today, and I have the IUI done tomorrow, at least there's still a gnat's hair size of a chance that we'll catch the tail end of ovulation.

And, if it turns out I was wrong, and the blue surge line appears clearly tomorrow, in all of its Prussian glory, then I can just call and reschedule the IUI for Tuesday. Which is exactly what the nurse told me to do if that happens, since I was at least truthful enough to tell her that today's test showed a line that was almost as dark. (Even though we all know I was exaggerating, but you won't tell will you?)

So the moral of the story is, the Stick you know is better than the Stick you don't know. Or is it, a Stick in the hand is worth two in the bush? And, you'll be happy to know that I actually did have sex last night, just in case. (Joanne, I couldn't remember what it was either, but this helped.) I mean, you never know, right?

Comments

[Julianna]

I like your clever thinking. I bet tomorrow the OPK will be even darker. Either way, you're covered.

Good luck!

[eM]

keep that crayola box handy so you can reference check the shades

[dish]

Sending uber fertile thoughts your way!

[Toni]

SWIM BOYS SWIM!!!

[Jen]

I had a similarly obnoxious experience with the CBE OPK--then as soon as I switched to Target brand, I had a glorious, beautiful, no-screwing-around-second-guessing strong second line. From now on, I'm a Target girl only!

Good luck with your IUI!