Thank Charlie's Angels, I'm finally ovulating. I don't go in for ultrasounds every month. My RE just has me come in for my IUIs when an OPK says I've had a LH surge. So, in I go tomorrow, to be knocked up hopefully by my friendly neighborhood catheter.
I've been peeing on those friggin OPK's for so many days, my trash can is filled with purple wrappers and white sticks. Too bad there's not some kind of used OPK donation program. Can't they recycle these things into something useful? I feel bad plowing through so many in a single month ... but not bad enough to stop. Maybe I should save them, make a collage, construct a mobile for my future baby. Hey, now, that's not a bad idea. Hmmm...
Part of why I pee on my little sticks so often is because they are IMPOSSIBLE TO READ!!! Jesus gay -- (Oh, how I love that phrase, learned from the marvelous women on my favorite blogs. I say it over and over again, Jesus gay, Jesus gay, Jesus gay) -- the guy who invented these things must have had his head way up his designing ass. The blue test line must be as dark or darker than the blue reference line. Okay, fine, except that even the reference line is always so faint, who can be sure it's even there?? So, then I end up comparing one faint line to another faint line, looking at one then the other, until my eyes cross and I think I'm about to have an aneurism. Then I throw the thing down in disgust, and repeat the whole process a few hours later.
Finally, this morning, I thought the test line DID look noticeably darker than the reference line. I patted myself on the back, proud of my mastery of the OPK. "Yes, this is good," I thought. "Send the neophytes to me, I'll train them to interpret the mysterious oracle known as THE OPK." So I called the RE to schedule my IUI. A little later, because I am out of my mind, or because I just can't get through the day without peeing on at least two sticks of some kind, I did it again! I guess I just wanted to confirm the results from the earlier OPK. But of course, this time, the effing test line was just the tiniest shade lighter than the reference line. I held it up to the window, squinted, put it down, picked it up. It's enough to fucking blow a girl's mind.
So now I'm starting to doubt whether I really had a surge, whether I should really be having the IUI tomorrow, and, in short, whether I have any chance of getting pregnant this cycle. Sheesh.
We're in South Africa so the time zones are all cockeyed. Been thinking about you and your catheter all day - hoping you got knocked up good and solid. Pity they can't do these things on the back seat of a wagon just for added luck. I'll be refreshing tonight to hear how it went.
Posted by: eM | June 10, 2004 at 08:19 AM
Not to contribute to your obsession, but... I used to keep the OPKs, label them according to the cycle day and am/pm, then compare them to see any relative darkening. (I had the cheapie, order-in-bulk strip kinds.)
You do know that you could have caught the surge just right and it was done surging by the time you took the second one, right?
Posted by: Julia | June 10, 2004 at 09:15 AM
eM: Thanks for thinking of me. I'm off to the doc's this morning. My stirrups await.
Julia: OMG, a girl after my own heart. I'm an obsessive labeling, color-coder, kind of chic myself. But I'm not sure I should be spending any more time with my OPK's than I already am. "Put the lid down slowly and walk AWAY from the OPKs."
Yeah, maybe I caught my surge just right. That's just what I needed to hear. *sigh of relief* You just made me feel a little better. thanks!
Posted by: lobster girl | June 10, 2004 at 09:30 AM
Hi. Just wanted to say that I have loved reading your blog so far. I know you just got this started but there wasn't much in your intro. What are your ages, do you have any pets, what do you do for a living, do you have an email address that you can post here? I'm not trying to stalk you or anything. It's just cool to know a little bit more about this person I am reading about. All the other gals have a good amount of info. Some even have pictures. It makes it all real. Well, keep writing. You know I'll be a longtime reader (until you get pg, of course, then I'll hate you). :-)
Posted by: Katie04 | June 10, 2004 at 04:03 PM
hey this is the most fuckin funniest thing ever and i cant help but read well buh bye
Posted by: Amanda | March 25, 2005 at 05:16 PM